When caring becomes everyday life

A sister’s story of how they support their parents with dementia

Every day, sisters Mandy and Tracey balance their own lives with caring for their parents, both of whom are living with dementia. Between them, they spend around eight hours a day supporting their mum and dad at home. Sometimes that care extends overnight. Any time their parents go out, whether for lunch or a quiet moment by the river, one of the sisters is always by their side.

Like many carers, Mandy and Tracey didn’t set out to take on this role. The responsibility grew gradually, until caring became a central part of everyday life.

It was this experience that brought them along to one of our Introduction to Dementia training sessions. Unsure what to expect, they joined a group of other carers, people facing similar challenges and quickly realised they weren’t alone.

Dementia Action Week (18 to 24 May)

Dementia is a progressive condition which can leave family or friends doing increasingly more for a loved one without always realising it. And as people’s capabilities change, so does the care they need to receive.

The likelihood of dementia increases with age, and Surrey’s population is older than many other parts of the UK. That’s just one of the reasons why we run training and advice sessions for dementia carers.

More than practical advice

Our sessions help carers support their loved ones at each stage of dementia. Topics range from hydration and fall prevention to understanding and managing challenging behaviour.

But the benefits go far beyond practical guidance. Meeting others who truly understand the emotional and physical demands of caring can be just as valuable. For Mandy and Tracey, sharing their story with the group highlighted how much of their own lives they had put on hold to care for their parents.

During one session, another attendee spoke about a local carers’ group she attends weekly with her husband. She described it as a “lifeline”. While her husband joins in with activities, she uses the time to talk with other carers over coffee.

Building connections and confidence

Mandy and Tracey brought their parents along to one of the groups, mainly because they wanted to help them socialise on their own. But the sisters also welcomed a small break that wasn't laden with guilt from leaving their parents alone.

They recalled the day with big smiles. Their parents had eaten lunch with the group and even ended the afternoon dancing to a Motown band.

The pair said they hadn't seen their parents enjoy themselves so much in years. They added that it had been wonderful for them all to get out of the house and try something new. The sisters went on to attend the rest of the carer training programme.

Find out more

This story is just one example of the help that’s out there for carers in Surrey. In the case of these free dementia courses, they often just reassure people that the support they’re giving is the ‘right’ sort of help.

To find out more, visit our Introduction to Dementia training sessions web page. Programmes in Dorking and Reigate are just under halfway through but people can join for a session at any point. New programmes are starting in Oxted library on 6 May and Sunbury library on 21 May.